Hi Sooni

Thanks! I know.....but have gone back to full time....lets see how long that lasts! But I just want to give it an honest shot! Guilt, I feel, is a part of motherhood. Even while staying at home, I used to feel guilty quite a bit. I guess we as mothers are just too hard on ourselves! :))

Nice to see you here....Kasang

Kasang,

I understand how you feel. I quit my job in a nationalised bank when my son was born and the transition was very tough especially since I had joined right out of college without spending even a day at home. I experienced everything you have described but have finally found a measure of satisfaction now in a part time job. I understand how you feel but you will be at peace later and not have to deal with guilt for not having been there for your kids. Believe me, the guilt does come though it is unfair that only one parent experiences it.

Thanks, Sir, for your kind words! Am glad you thought it was well written:))

Kasang

Hi Ranjini

Thanks a ton for your comment and for sharing your personal experience! As you said, its not abt money either. Its more about finding a balance between what you want to do and what you can do. Thats what I am trying to do. Anyways, the comfort is that it is not irreversible....the decision of going back to work can be undone! But I feel that one should at least explore.

The other thing is that in US, things are still not as bleak for people who have left their jobs. Believe me, finding a part time option is a big thing here. I also had explored options to study further.....but they demand the same rigidity in terms of time commitments. Hence, the decision to explore going back to work, which came through....so lets see!

But thanks a lot! Really appreciate your words. Loved the article you had sent me the link for.

Kasang

I think a very pertinent aspect has been touched upon in a very rationale and truthful manner. Each one of us has gone through the pangs of leaving a child in the creche or compromising with the job.

Kasang has gone a generation back to her mother and felt, the decision was as tough tjen as it is today. It is absolutely true.

A well written article.

Hello Kasang,

That was a wonderful blog. Your dilemma is understandable. Many of us have been through it. I came to the US on a job and worked until I had my baby. Then I stopped for a while until I found telecommuting options. Somewhere down the road, I found out from my son that HE did not want me missing from home at odd times and not being there to help him with homework whatever. I knew that if I ignored my career for a couple of years, all I had to do was to study again, take some courses at the college to catch up. Hard work? Yes! But I wondered, why make my young son work harder by not being there for him. I will work harder if that's how I have to get back into the workforce!!!! So, I took it as a challenge to be at home when he needed me, and later when he was more independent, I was off to college again for a couple of years. I started working at the same college very soon. Now, I work independently by taking contracts for projects from home, but I am very happy with my choices and would not change it. My son had his mom when he wanted her around.
The balancing act requires sacrifices, but it is the mothers who have to sacrifice because the kids are incapable of sacrificing for our sake! That was the rationale behind my choices. The daycare may be a wonderful place, but kids are developing everyday and I did not want to be the last one to find out.
I did not want my son to "adjust" without me!
It just felt sad for me because this is one life and this is the only opportunity I will ever get watching my kid grow. Later, all the money in my bank after my retirement will not bring these experiences back.

Work I did!    But I just had to work harder for it instead of my son, that's all!!!
Another blogger 'Anjala" has written a wonderful blog about this. I went to her page and dug the link for you to read. Check it out below:.........Ranjini
http://anjalambal.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/08/a-housewife-no-more.htm

Hi Madhuri

Great to see you here! And thanks for your thought out comment! I agree what you have said is very practical and vital....and I have looked and managed such contingencies!! However, try explaining to the kid! I guess they will take time to get used to the idea....but till they do, we will continue to marinate in guilt, pull out hair and chew nails to figure out the right answer!

Take care and good luck with your job too! I hope you turn this challenge into a rocking success!

Kasang

Hey Kasang,

Hmm. Story looks familiar. I have a 3 yr 7mth old son. And I can say I can relate to your story. My mom too sacrificed her life her career to be with me and my brother. We turned out fine but she used to give private tuitions at home for 20yrs. to keep herself busy.

Now coming to your questions, you know it is nothing wrong in sending u r kids to daycare. You need to do some good research on how the day care is, about the care taker and all that and make sure that they are telling you whats happening with your kid if some thing is wrong. As long as you do that your kids will have fun spending time with their age kids. 

I too had questions like this b4. I was on a break for 9mths from work and now I am trying to go back. I have the same fears if I can spend quality time with my son but I think you can work it out with a little discomfort, physical strain but still at the end of the day its all worth it you know. To gain some you have to loose some. Thats there always. 

But you will have to compromise on the work too a little as you should be ready to be at home when they are sick. So some understanding between your manager and you is very important to handle both worlds peacefully. Some work from home option or go early and come back early type of job....

Regds,
Madhuri

Thanks, Tanushri!

oh, the eternal dilemma...to work or not to work....here's wishing you all the best...don't worry things always work out in the end...